What Is a Social Introvert? 12 Personality Traits that Define Them

What is a social introvert? Sounds like an oxymoron, right? How can you be social, yet an introvert at the same time? It exists. You may even be one!

Okay, I know you’re probably curious about what is a social introvert, so I’m not going to waste any more of your time. But rather than telling you straight up what a social introvert is, I’m going to give you some examples. Maybe you can identify with them… or maybe not. [Read: How to recognize the 4 types of introverts]

What is a social introvert? 12 ways to find out for yourself

I would like to say that I’m a fairly social person. In fact, most people, when they meet me would call me an extrovert. I’m pretty loud, I like attention and a good party. But that’s only a small section of my life which may happen once or twice a week.

For the rest of the time, I’m tucked away in my room or walking by myself. When you see me in those moments, you’d probably call me an introvert. But I can’t be both, right? We have to be one or the other… at least that’s what all the psychology books tell us—the outdated ones anyway.

But here’s the thing, human psychology is much more complex than dividing us into two categories: introvert or extrovert. I mean, if it was that simple, then everything would be divided into two options. But the thing is, we’re complex by nature and not all of us fall into one category.

Now, this isn’t to say that there are people either introvert or extrovert. You can fall strictly into one category. But there is also an in-between, what we call a social introvert. Don’t think you’re an introvert or extrovert? What about a social introvert?

#1 You like being social. Being a social introvert doesn’t mean you can’t stand people and would rather spend your weekends in a dark room. Social introverts enjoy being social. They like hanging out with their friends and having a good time. Hence the “social” part of the term. [Read: How to be the life of the party]

#2 You enjoy your alone time. Now, you like being social and seeing your friends, but you also need your own time away from them. This doesn’t mean you dislike them, but you just need time to recharge your batteries and be in your own thoughts.

There’s no strict time period for this. Some people need days in order to recharge their batteries, others need weeks. Everyone is different. [Read: Introvert burnout – What it is and how to deal with it]

#3 You like to know things in advance. This is the introvert side of you coming out. You like to know what you’re getting yourself into. For example, where you’re going, who’s going to be there, if it’s a large or small group. That way, you mentally prepare yourself for the event. If you know you have a party to go to on Saturday night, you’ll stay home on Friday and have some me time.

#4 Sometimes you don’t want to go out. While extroverts are usually able to constantly go out, regardless of the day, and still have the energy to continue with their week, we’re not like that. Sure, you know that there’s a party happening tonight, but you just want to crack a bottle of wine open and watch your favorite movie instead. Social introverts don’t feel the need to be at a social event, they don’t feel that they’re missing anything. [Read: How to make friends as an introvert who never leaves home]

#5 But you do suffer from FOMO. This is your social side coming out. Sure, you know when you want to stay at home and chill out, but at the same time, you do occasionally suffer from FOMO, fear of missing out. That’s why when you’re pressured by your friends to go out, you cave. Because deep down, you actually want to see the drama that’s going to unfold tonight.

#6 You don’t do that well in large groups. If anything, your true colors show when you’re in small groups of people that tend to be your close friends. This is when you can truly relax and be the social butterfly that you are.

You can meet new people, that’s not a problem, but you’re somewhat reserved or shy on first introductions. You need a little time to warm up, however, once you do, you’re smooth sailing from there.

#7 You know your limits. This is the beautiful thing about social introverts. Sorry, I needed to compliment myself and my peoples. We know our limits. Yes, we can party hard on a Friday night, but then we’re perfectly content with staying at home the night after. We know that going out again won’t do much for us and if anything, we’ll have a horribly lazy Sunday. [Read: Get to know who you really are with these 8 questions]

#8 Big groups aren’t for you. Sure, you can go to a large music festival or a giant pool party, but this isn’t your place to shine. Now, nothing really happens when you go to these places, if anything, you just become a little quiet and intimidated by all the people. You aren’t comfortable because you don’t know the people around you.

#9 Your friends think you’re weird. They can’t tell why you’re like this. Some of them may be complete introverts and not see the point of you going out to parties at all.

Your extrovert friends may not understand why you don’t want to party hard three nights in a row. They’re confused, they don’t get you. They think you’re depressed or going through a hard time when at the end of the day, it’s just you know yourself. [Read: 12 signs you’re an outgoing introvert and a complex ambivert]

#10 You’re a great observer. At parties, you see every little detail and interaction between people. As much as you love a good time, you really enjoy people watching. This doesn’t mean you’re antisocial or that you want to spend time alone. You simply like watching other people interact in a social setting.

#11 You like meeting new people. You do! You’re not closed off and uninterested when someone new comes your way. Rather, you may not know how to strike up the right conversation. I mean, small talk pretty much sucks. Isn’t there a new way to talk to people without having to doggy paddle through unimportant conversation? [Read: Try these 25 conversation starters for a great time]

#12 You’re drained after social events. After a party or festival, you need rest. You know that after any social event, you’re going to need a couple days to wind down and recover. And when it comes to family festivities, you’ll need months. I feel ya.

[Read: Introverts vs. extroverts: Where do you land?]

Now that you know what is a social introvert, are you one? Do you know someone who is a social introvert?

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