As an experienced online dater myself, I know what to do and more importantly, what not to do. So here are my must-have online dating tips for women.
Online dating is this entire world of confusion, fear, excitement, and unfortunately, dick pics. But, with some help, you can smoothly navigate that bumpy terrain without much turbulence. There will always be surprises, but if you follow my online dating tips for women you can keep them to a minimum and hopefully leave the online dating world behind.
What is online dating like for women?
Online dating is a minefield. Nowadays it is all swiping, saying “hey,” and never speaking again. In order to actually want to take online dating out of the internet and in person, a connection needs to form in the first few minutes of chatting.
If it isn’t there you move on. People need dating and a connection to be as instantaneous as ordering something from Amazon Prime or getting a pizza delivered. If you don’t hook someone quick, there is no catch.
And for women, it is even more difficult than that. Not only do we have to deal with average dating nerves, but we also have to fish through creepy mirror pics, cheesy movie lines, and guys who think asking for sex in their first message is totally warranted. [Read: Why online dating isn’t for everyone]
On top of that, we also have more pressing fears to worry about. Are we potentially meeting a murderer? Is this person really Jake, 28, from NYC with a dog named Pogo? Or is it Kevin aged 56 who lives in his mom’s basement with a puppet named Alf?
You are constantly battling your need to question everything with your desire to be chill and open-minded. You want to be safe but also spontaneous. You want to be vulnerable but also protected.
How do you make online dating work for you?
Must-know online dating tips for women
Without the help of an accurate psychic, you will never know exactly what to expect from online dating. You cannot exactly swallow down the nerves and just go for it. Your fears are more than not getting along, but could you also be at risk of being kidnapped and murdered? [Read: 13 reasons why online dating isn’t for everyone]
When you want to meet someone and work and friend setups are out of the questions, online dating is the logical choice. Sure, the likelihood of being stalked by a catfish is small, but it is a thought always haunting us.
Ladies, to make online dating work for you, use these online dating tips for women so you can learn how to keep your guard up and remain openminded. It is not easy, but you can do it.
#1 Be honest in your profile. Of course, you don’t want your profile to be a novel, but share enough to catch someone’s attention. Include something unique about yourself. I always mention that I’m a grandma at heart. I love staying home and baking and that seems to intrigue people who find it endearing.
Your photos should also represent you clearly. If you have group photos, it should be very clear which person you are in the first one. Crop if necessary. Your photos should be recent, decent quality, and actually show your face. Avoid anything too far away, with sunglasses, or intense filters. [Read: How to write an online dating profile and set yourself apart]
#2 Minimize your expectations. It is impossible to have zero expectations when online dating. You are hoping for something. You want a fun date, a relationship, or even a hookup. I get it.
But to get the most out of online dating, you need to expect the very least. Go in expecting to meet a decent human being. With that as your bar, it should not be hard to miss. [Read: Is lowering your expectations the best path to love?]
#3 Have a safety net. Have an out prepared just in case you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Have a friend call you 20 minutes into your date. And be sure to tell someone your location and the name and phone number of the person you’re meeting.
It might sound excessive, but it is better to be safe than sorry.
#4 Never invite him over. If you want to be close to home, meet at the bar around the corner or the coffee shop down the road. You don’t have to give your address or even where you live. Even if the date went well, I wouldn’t invite him over until you feel like you can actually trust him.
#5 Video chat before meeting. I know some people don’t like to do this, but I have met guys online both before video chatting and after, and after is always better. You get a vibe of how you will interact and a feel for the flow of the conversation. I also find that it makes your in-person meeting a lot more smooth and less awkward.
This is also a great way to ensure that you are not being catfished. If they refuse a video chat, you should not meet them. [Read: 13 easy ways to recognize a catfish instantly]
#6 Listen. We have a tendency to talk about ourselves. We want to share our interesting stories and what we want and are looking for. But, looking for a date requires listening too. And that doesn’t mean sitting quietly, but actually paying attention.
If you just respond too quickly, you aren’t processing what they said. Actually taking your time and focusing on your date will help you realize how interested you are.
#7 Own your confidence. When you are considering going from messaging to meeting, the nerves can take over and destroy your killer confidence in one blow. Try to keep your cool.
We are all nervous when dating, it is human nature. But just because your body is nervous doesn’t mean you can’t own who you are. Show-off your best assets, feel good in your outfit, and project who you are, not who you wish you were or who you think he wants you to be. [Read: How to calm the stage of first date anxiety]
#8 Have a go-to line. Online dating for women is weird. Do you reach out first or wait for him? I usually pick a dating app that requires the girl to message first. I find it is a lot less creepy than the alternative.
But going in with “hey” is not catchy or intriguing. If you want to have a decent conversation it needs to start with more than – hey how are you. It is a great idea to have a fun starter. You can use it repeatedly instead of the boring “hi.”
Most guys I match with tend to have a blank bio, so, I say, “That blank bio isn’t giving me much to work with.” This shows that I call them out and am teasing them a little, but also lets them introduce themselves.
After doing this for a while, you will also notice when someone’s profile catches your eye and sparks a new intro to mind. [Read: How to spot the liars in an online dating site]
#9 Do not play hard to get. From the impression I’ve gotten, guys do not want a girl who is playing games. So don’t try to act disinterested. You downloaded the app and made a profile, so you already put it out into the world that you are looking.
Do not say I rarely check this app or always wait for the guy to message first. You are a strong and independent woman, you can make the first move. If you are interested, make it known. [Read: Texting before the first date – A complete guide to playing it right]
#10 There is no such thing as the perfect man. With all the options right at your fingertips, you may keep swiping and scrolling until you find someone that ticks all your boxes. But, remember no one is perfect. You will not find a guy that is your prince charming.
I am not telling you to settle for less than you deserve, but be realistic. Think about what you really need in a relationship versus what you think you need. Most of the time what we want is the exact opposite of what makes us the happiest.
#11 Mention your deal breakers. A lot of people say to keep things light in the beginning. Do not talk about heavy topics like politics or religion. I say get that out of the way now. You do not want to chat with someone for a week before you find out they have entirely different morals to you.
Mention things you know you cannot put up with right away. In my profile, I include the fact that I am not interested in smokers or Trump supporters. So, if you have deal breakers, share them right out of the gate. [Read: 25 most common and biggest deal breakers for women]
#12 Bring what you’ve learned, not what you’ve felt. This is one of the hardest things to do, especially with online dating. You are meeting this person for the first time with little to no information about them. You need to go in trusting your gut.
But, we tend to take our prior experiences and their baggage and our bitterness into this new adventure. Instead of pulling all of that into the booth with you and your date, only take what you have learned, not the feelings you felt. It can be difficult to compartmentalize that, but try to focus on what you do have control over, not what you don’t.
#13 Ask your friends for advice. Online dating for women is overwhelming. You have a lot to consider. If you are talking to a few people and aren’t sure who to meet or don’t even know where to start with your photos or bio, ask your friends for advice.
Have them help you set up your account. They know you best and how to boost your confidence. It is hard to sell yourself to potential matches, it can feel car salesman-ish. But, your friends are killer at sharing your best qualities, so let them take a whack at it.
#14 Be bold. Men are not the best at reading signs. You can try to be subtle and flirty, but guys sometimes need you to be blunt. Instead of hinting at the prospect of meeting, just ask him out. No need to beat around the bush. Take the bull by the horns and go for it.
What’s the worst that could happen? He says no, and you keep swiping. [Read: What to do on your first date of an online match]
#15 Don’t meet too fast or after too much time. When someone asks me to meet them after two correspondences I am so turned off. You know nothing about me. I could be a crazy person or collect human teeth. They don’t know. Some would say, well, you get to know each other in person. But, without even a little bit of a vibe of how you interact, even via messages, it is hard to create a flow in person.
Whenever I have gone from online dating to meeting without enough back story, things are awkward. You don’t have anything at all to go off of. Even chatting about about your favorite show or where you went to college can plant a seed for future conversations.
With that being said, waiting too long to meet can create a lot of expectations. Once you wait too long, it can be hard to make that transition from screen to scene. Try to meet anywhere from a couple days to a week of messaging for a good balance.
[Read: 13 warning signs to look out for in the first few dates]
These online dating tips for women should get you through the sea of dating profiles and out into the real world with less stress, fewer nerves, and more confidence.
The post 15 Online Dating Tips for Women to Super-Boost Your Dating Game is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
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